As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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