Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
