At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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