You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
