hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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