I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
