Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
