I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's shark week go big or go home
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
