this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
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