Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
