i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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