I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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