I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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