yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
