I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
