Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Is Oprah even human
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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