so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
