The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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