hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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