she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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