I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
