If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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