My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
