Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
