those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
