If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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