return my video game
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
