screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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