He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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