yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
