And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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