Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
