I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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