I want to have your abortion
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
