you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
