oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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