I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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