You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
