I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
