he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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