Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
