He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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