hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
