marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
