Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
