Define "chronic" masturbator.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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