So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
