Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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