a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
birth control should be required to get into college
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
