Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
