doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Shame is for Republicans.
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