I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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