there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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