I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
