I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
