They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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