i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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