hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
