That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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