just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
