Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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